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| 致命的大错
"Finished 8th in my high school graduating class of
10." "Qualifications: No education or
experience." "I am relatively intelligent, obedient
and loyal as a puppy." "My compensation should be at
least equal to my age." "Reason for Leaving: It had to
do with the IRS, FBI and SEC." "Fired because I fought
for lower pay." "Size of employer: Very tall, probably
over 6'5" . " "Please disregard the enclosed
resume-it is terribly out of date." "Reason for
Leaving: My boss said the end of the world is near."
"Reason for Leaving: The owner gave new meaning to the word
'paranoia.' I prefer to elaborate privately."
打字错误与语法错误 "Here are my qualifications for
you to overlook." "Strengths: Ability to meet
deadlines while maintaining composer." "I am a rabid
typist." "Work History: Performed brain wave
tests,1879-1981." "After receiving advice from several
different angels, I have decided to pursue a new line of
work." "Accounting cleric." "As indicted, I
have over five years of experience analyzing investments."
"Suspected to graduate early next year."
"Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets." "Proven
ability to track down and correct erors."
"Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department."
"Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget
details." "Accomplishments: Completed 11 years of high
school." 不应有的幽默 "Note: Keep this resume on
top of the stack. Use all others to heat your house."
"Assisted in daily preparation of large quantities of
consumable items in a fast-paced setting." (Translation:
Short-order cook.) "But wait…there's more. You get all
this business knowledge plus a grasp of marketing that is second
nature." "I have an excellent track record, although I
am not a horse." "My fortune cookie said, 'Your next
interview will result in a job'-and I like your company in
particular." "Title: Another resume from the 'Profiles
in Excellence' series." "Also Known As: Mr.
Productivity, Mr. Clever, Mr.Fix-it." "Trustworthy
references available upon request-if I give them a few
bucks." "Let's meet so you can 'ooh' and 'ahh' over my
experience." |
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